Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Hearing HIS voice!!

You do not know when His voice will come to you, but whenever the realization of God comes, even in the faintest way imaginable, be determined to recklessly abandon yourself, surrendering everything to Him. It is only through abandonment of yourself and your circumstances that you will recognize Him. You will only recognize His voice more clearly through recklessness being willing to risk your all.

I want to recognize God's voice more clearly, and to be able to drown out all the other voices..there are so many: my own, parents, friends, media, satan..
I rejoice that i am able to hear from God and that He takes the time to speak to me:-)
thank you Jesus!

Saturday, June 14, 2008

When my thoughts wander, where do they go..

Saturday June 14th.

I love the weekends. I love 'me' time. Time where i dont have to do anything. I can listen to David Crowder. Sing out loud while cleaning my house and/or baking banana bread..oh and one loaf always has chocolate chips. I love my dogs, jack and cody, bringing the ball to me every 30 min.
I love the sunshine and being able to see it out the windows, i cant see outside from my office at work. I love being able to go to the pool, for a walk, being able to read a book, write in my journal.
I love being able to watch a chic flick and do laundry. I love that i can quiet my mind. I dont think I am very good at this, but I do a better job of it on a lazy day...today is Saturday and I have the house all to myself. My mind is quiet. I wish I could do this more often and have alone time, quality time with God. I hate that I passively use the business of life as an excuse..I do not do it on purpose..i just let it happen. That is not being a soldier of the Lord. I will get conquered everyday living passively that way. God calls us to be purposeful. Going to work, watching TV, working out, shopping..those things are easily done while lacking purpose. But it doesnt have to be that way. We can do all these things for God and his glory. God is to be first on our priority list..not out of duty but out of a pure and honest response to the love we have for Jesus our Savior. We are to make disciples as we go..not every now and then while we are on our way..but instead 'while we are going' Our main purpose is to love and glorify God and to point others to him and share his love..This is a constant in our lives while the mundane details of life are things we must do as we pursue our purpose and our Savior.

I love how God gives us passions, creativity, song lyrics, poems, THE BIBLE, hymns, psalms, pens to write and computers to type our thoughts. I love that HE gives us prayer. He gives us the birds, the trees, the ocean, the sand, he gives us beautiful radiant flowers..I love how he gives us the sound and smell of rain. I love the shade the from the trees.. God is such a detailed God..He is a perfect God and a perfect maker of the whole Earth and beyond! Our culture has become so fast paced that we have covered up God's creation. We are so busy that we dont get time to see past the hussle ans see what God has given us to enjoy while we are passing through..while we are just visiting here on Earth, until..we can be forever with Him.

I dont like that i miss out on God a lot of times! I can honestly say i think about God almost all day..BUT the times that i dont, the times that i lose sight of him and eternity, are maybe some of the most vital times during my day..times that I need him to keep me from losing my temper, times when i need him to sustain me, to give me hope, to refocus my thoughts, to give me compassion when it doesnt come naturally, to remind me to do all things for him, times when i just need to stop and enjoy God and not 'do'. I miss God everyday. I often think about how i wouldnt mind if Jesus came back today..I actually hope he comes back soon. I dont want to live to be old. I know that sounds morbid. but honestly, why would i want to live here one more day when that day is keeping me from an eternity with my Father..with the I AM. Dont get me wrong, I love my life. I want to get married and have kids, grandkids. There are many places I would like to travel and explore. And yes of course, there are many souls to save. Part of me feels selfish for being excited for Jesus to come back..because there many who do not know HIM as their Savior. but when its all said and done, its fine to be ready and excited for Jesus to come back..because it will be done in the fullness of time..it will be done in His perfect timing. and that i do not have to worry about. But i do hope its soon. Many times when i am sad or have had a hard day, i just want God to hug me, to hold me. IT relaxes me and calms me and gives me hope when i think about this. i know He is my refuge hear on earth and he still holds me in his hands. But i like to imagine this is a tangible thing.. how awesome to sit in the lap of our Father! One day this will happen and I cant wait for this day.

When I quiet my mind and i forget about what i want to do today, what i need to do today. I find that this is where my mind and thoughts go..this is where my heart lies. I want to go home. This will be a glorious day. My prayer is that until then, I please my Father and that I listen to his whispers, i feel his tugs on my heart, and i respond to His Spirit within me..because I know in this, his will will be done and others will come to know him!

I love you Jesus!

please excuse the grammar and/or spelling errors

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Rodeo..and other adventures in Raleigh

OK so I have been in Raleigh since the 9th grade, and I was in Cary before that, since i was 5. I love Raleigh..I always have. I love that it is a city with enough to do, but not as much traffice as NYC, ATL, Charlotte.. As many of you know, traffic brings out the worst in me. I am not proud of it. um but thats life..and i work on it..haha. I love Raleigh because its close to the BEACH!! and close to the mountains. If gas was free I would drive to the beach every weekend..its so relaxing there..and its really very spiritual!! I love how God has created so many things, sites for us to enjoy. Well those things are nice about Raleigh, but as far as Raleigh itself goes, I found that I have run out of stuff to do...I mean how many times can you go bowling, play ski ball at Frankies, go to the Movies, go to the Mall, or the gym, or go walk around the lake..well i guess you could do these forever..BUT..it actually turns out there are more fun things to do in Raleigh but i just havent been looking..
Well this week I am trying new things...and so far its been great!!!
Tuesday night I went to the Rodeo. I love love loved it!! What a new fun experience..its so different from anything I'm used to, and its out of my comfort zone. not in bad way though..haha
When the night kicked off, horses were riding around the arena in a formation. the girls riding the horses were holding flags. One was the NC flag. Then a man said a prayer. After that some hype music came on and a horse galloped into the arena more speedily than the others..this girl was carrying the American flag..then everyone there said the Pledge of Alleigance to the Flag and we then sang the National Anthem..I loved the sense of patriotism and the acknowledgement of God that this event had. All the bull riders were announced and the bull riding began!! WOW i loved it..the youngest bull rider was 17..yikes..
During intermission were barrel races..the girls took turns racing on a horse around the course and making the sharpest turns possible around the barrels without knocking them over...I thnk the fastest time was 17.5 seconds..better than i could do..
well thats about it. we left early bc the mosquitos were getting us.next time ill bring bug spray:-)

Tonight Patrick and I are taking his parents to a movie on the Lawn...never done this before..I know to bring bug spray now..haha. Koka Booth Amphitheatre does this on thurs nights in the summer. Tonight is The Bee Movie..i think is will be funny..we shall see. But before the movie we are going to Hard Times Cafe!!! LOVE IT..it has the best frito pie...what is that you say..its chili with fritos and the mixins..cheese, sour creme, diced tomatoes, any or all of those. There are 4 kinds of chili to choose from: Texas, Cincinatti, Vegetarian, and Terilinqua. I love the Texas.. Patrick gets Terilinqua or Cincinatti..I recommend you try this place out..they also have burgers, fries, chicken sandwhiches, salads..but go for the Chili..It is on Glenwood..downtown.

So thats 2 new things in raleigh this week..hopefully Ill try some more things next week. But actually it might have to wait til July..June is hectic...crazy how that happens..but it will give me time to research and find a new adventure to take on...
let me know if you have ideas!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Lifetime Friendships (YaYa Pants)

These are truly a gift from the Lord!! I believe God knows we need these and HE wants us to have these as we fullfill our purpose on this earth until we get to be with him, our best friend.
Dont get me wrong. Not all the friendships are for a lifetime. Some are only for a season, and these are great too. Im not dissing them at all..

I am so blessed to have several friendships that i know will be for a lifetime!! God gives us these to experience many things with..to laugh with, cry with, do nothing with, enjoy the uniqueness of one another, debate with, confide in, pray for and with, lay out with, eat ice cream with, sit in silence with, ...He gives us friends to confront us in love when needed, to teach us more about himself, to frolic on the beach, eat seafood with on the sound, take road trips with, make mix cds with, read magazines with and buy make up with (well not for the guys)
But truly when you look past all the superficial things and surfaced things, you know you have found a true friend when NO matter WHAT, that friend will be there with you..to celebrate something wonderful and exciting, to sit and hold you during a hard time or trial in your life..and most importantly, during any season of life..encourage you to see God, hear God, and grow closer to God.

But on a lighter note..i hope to continue doing fun and new things with the friends God has blessed me with! Already i have begun to travel the world with these friends..Tay and I went on a 4th of July cruise back in the day..we experienced a monsoon on a small boat while doing the conga line and we saw the mayan ruins....i cant even remember the islands we went to but i do remember they were amazing. Ginny and I spent 10 days in St John! Um this place has the most beautiful beaches i have seen..being the only person on a private beach is amazing..oh and we got to see Kenny Chesneys beach house..we went parasailing for free, the catch was that it was the boat driver's last time to take someone up before he could get certified, we were a lil nervous. We went snorkeling, the small fish liked to get under your body, right under your stomach, and swim with you, like you were their shade or something..haha

But it doesnt take traveling the world to enjoy new times with friends..every stage of life is a new time..even if its in the same city you've always lived in, the same beach house you always visit, the same coffee house you always meet at to sit, sip, chat and catch up. I hope to enjoy the simple things in life with my friends forever. The small things that God gives us and show us. Like the blooming magnolia trees, the tide, the smell of babies, a touching word from a past love one, that one yellow tank top (G you know what i mean) and a peek at a rainbow through the clouds.
.. My friends and I always say we will keep in touch and have reunions forever. We are on a good role so far..but i really really know life gets busy and can get in the way..it takes going out of your way to make a phone call sometimes, or buckling down and making the plans for a fun reunion trip..life can separate friends and they can live on opposite coasts ;-) but they can still be the best of friends..

I was inspired to write about my friends today, and how I desire to keep these intimate friendships forever...I was eating lunch at Moes..then 5 ladies walked in the door at sat at the table right next to mine..they had to be at least 60. They were celebrating Debbie's bday ( I saw the name on the card) I like to think they have been lifetime friends :-) It doesnt take anything extravagant to get together to celebrate a bday...just lunch at Moes...I'd like to do that one day with my girls .maybe when we are 60..